Since my intense travelling has stopped, I have had time to dig into my many hours of free tour videos. I love digging and finding things that are important for guys out there. I have included relationship advice on this one as a bonus.
Low energy and Cold Approaching
Found many guys with this issue in the field so I decided to write about it. Some struggle with what they call “state” which is nothing but high positive energy levels. If they lack it they try to put themselves in it by talking themselves into it or getting girls to like them so they can feel better. After working with many guys in this situation I have realized at times there is a part missing they are not seeing. Good clean positive vibes sometimes cannot be manufactured at will and here is why.
Testosterone. What is it?
Otherwise called androgen, testosterone is the “male” hormone. Women don’t produce enough of it, that’s why Michael Jackson got rid of it(sorry, bad joke). It is naturally produced by the body in the testicles. Just like other stuff in your body, there is a normal level of it for you to properly function and lift the grocery bag in the supermarket. Both your brains and your testes work in conjunction to keep levels kosher in your body so you can get on with your daily efforts and routines. Other functions, include production of sperm, recuperation of muscle mass among other things.
When are you going to talk about Picking Up girls in this article?
Testosterone is described as “fuel” for men. Men thrive on it. It boosts our mood and mental capacity. Testosterone levels go down when you are under duress for long periods of time such as when you approach women. Most guys experience pickup as a highly stressful activity. Most of their energy is burned in trying to control symptoms of fear, rationalizing, trying not to think about their fears, predicting catastrophic scenarios. Most guys burn their energy in the field by trying to curve their symptoms and keep them in check. In other words, that’s where their energy, otherwise used for talking with girls, goes. As a result they find themselves lacking it and impossible to get into a good talking positive mood.
Mood Swings and Testosterone
Lack of proper testosterone levels produce mood swings otherwise called “bad state” or bad state of mind in the community. They are not all related to testosterone levels but there are some. When you are doing something stressful like approaching if it feels stressful to you, then you will experience loss of testosterone on account of the high stress levels. Then, low energy levels come and you can’t recuperate from the challenges that cold approaching people in the a night club required.
I have seen guys in my program go from really “high” emotionally to absolutely crash mentally to the point that they have to sit down for a while. The mood swings are common when the testosterone is going down and it is attributed to “bad game” or whatever. Most of the time, it is a lack of energy that causes these monster swings. I have seen guys get high when a hot girl likes to crash completely when another one dislikes them. Then they start “chasing highs” in the field trying to make up for the losses and it goes downhill from there. As a coach, when I see a student chasing a “high” in the field I know it precludes a crash. It is just a matter of time. But what causes the student to chase the high? Sometimes he is too stressed out about results, outcome dependence, at other times, it is the student trying to change a “low” state, in other words, “low energy” state caused by lack of testosterone levels.
Before you go out there and shoot some steroids, let me tell you about high testosterone levels. There are a lot of myths about it. Actually shooting steroids reduces your natural T production. Reason why body builder types have small testicles because they substitute their natural production with the injections. Don’t do it. (and stay off drugs! Bad joke again).
Again, there is no such a thing as high T levels. You can’t have enough of it. In other words, the more the better. More male energy to apply to any activity. High testosterone levels are rare in males. It is hard to come by in big numbers.
How Can You Improve It So You Have Sustainable Levels In The Field?
Dieting is one way to go. A high protein diet naturally improve T production. That is why a body building diet can work for you. New diets like Paleo are coming up that use other methods to increase energy such as fat. Either way you might want to do a little digging and work out a diet that suits you.
Cut out the sugar. Eating fructose and other unhealthy fats may cut your natural flow of testosterone. Time to get on those “sweet and low” or other sugar substitutes. Personally I use a sweetener with almost zero calories, coming from sugars naturally appearing in nature. I never use refined sugar for anything. Sugar causes insulin levels to fluctuate and therefore cause energy levels to go up and down creating loss in energy.
Lift weights! Simple solution to a complex problem. We always recommend getting into some kind of lifting program when you approach women. Not only you will look better, you will feel better. You will have the required levels of energy for cold approaching women. They will feel it too. Win win.
Relationship Advice(How Make her Miss you?)
Women love to miss you. For them it means they are in love otherwise they wouldn’t miss you. Women need to feel that deep sense of connection otherwise they feel they must move on or have “the talk” with you that something is wrong. Even though they only thing that may be wrong is the fact that they don’t miss you enough.
Here is the breakdown:
How to make her miss you?
1. Don’t be needy or appear needy. Women hate that. Needing them too much is a sign you are not “the man”. You are just a child, a kid. Women love men but hate looking after a boy. Women expect you to have your shit together. When you don’t they start doubting their choice of committing to you. I have a client who has taken 3 or 4 bootcamps in the last 3 years. His wife sends him to BC because she feels every time he comes through a bootcamp, he comes home full of energy and a better man. Go figure!
2. Be a bit of an asshole to her! Just kidding. Be a tease. Don’t agree with everything she says. Make her work for your approval. First words out of my mouth is usually “No”. Women have to work hard to get that “yes” from me. They love a guy with an opinion. They hate the opposite, the woman “yes” man. So when you are not around she is missing “something”. What she is missing is all the hard work she has to do to get your approval.
3. Be in demand! This one goes without saying. Get her to see that you are fine around other women. Her friends can work for you in this instance. Be a charmer around her girlfriends. Soon her friends will love to be around you which will cause her not to take you for granted. I made a mistake with a girlfriend once: I made her friends hate me because I thought they were gold diggers, not very hot in the first place (in the field I was approaching really hot girls and her friends didn’t cut it for me). Not only she didn’t like it, her friends hated me and they cause her to try and break up with me. In retrospect, I should have played that differently.
3. Make Her Want Sex By Not Cheapening It! Most guys take it wherever they can get it from their girlfriends. This is really bad. Sooner rather than later she would stop wanting it. Sex is not just sex for a woman. It is an experience. Guys want to have sex to relief themselves (that’s why they masturbate) but women use sex for connection. If you give her too much of it in any occasion you cheapen it and she won’t want it. Make her want it by not giving to her on the cheap. In other words don’t be a slut! Make her work for it. I would often make her horny and then not give it to her unless she had been a good girl for a while. I gave her sex to reinforce positive behaviour not for my own personal gratification. Women feel cheap when you do that all the time. They feel you don’t want them anymore except to relieve yourself. Women attach meaning to sex but most men won’t or don’t. We are different that way. So get with the program. Make her miss you sexually too. When I am in a relationship, I hold off on sex until I really want to. I also try to cheapen it because soon I will stop wanting it too. I make myself “miss her” too. I know that it doesnt make a lot of sense but it does to me. By missing her, my performance is better when I let her have it because it feels like something I want to do too.